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Last week was survivor week. No hidden camera crews. No script. Just arbitrary rules, made up by me and tolerated by my partner in research (and life). The idea was that we were supposed to simulate evacuation. I know this sounds like premeditated spontaneity. But actually abandoning a house full of kids on a whim causes Social Services to contact your next of kin.
We packed up our sleeping bags and a bad smelling tent the night before. The next morning we stood blurry-eyed in the pantry and pulled out anything we could get our hands on in less than three minutes. I claimed the one chocolate chip cookie dough protein bar. Necessities. Then we ran from the house like the cast of the Avengers was chasing us.
We headed for the mountains, two hours and one bad rainstorm away. Then we marched up the trail in the mud, ditched even the road less traveled by, crossed an ice-cold stream in bare feet and set up camp under some branches. Then we hiked, talked, slept badly and lived off our meager plunder and edible plants for a few days.
I know… it’s not most people’s idea of a good time. But we had a blast.
After that, we drove to Montana on muddy back roads to do other unnecessarily difficult but entirely enjoyable things.
And lest you think we were just messing around together, we actually learned some things too:
Dandelion salad takes a little getting used to. And butter cups — always a bad idea.
A rattlesnake coming for you in the grass can move a lot faster than you’d think.
Moose like to people watch. And they cough like old men.
When a giant black storm cloud suggests you get out off the mountaintop, you should probably listen. All hail can break loose.
There is no longer a lake in the town of Swan Lake. Or swans incidentally.
People that drive with dogs are better looking than the rest of us.
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There should be a stupid people tax in Yellowstone National Park.
When your horse is named Duke, you can’t ride like a duchess.
Ice caves are epic. Even in the middle of nowhere Idaho. Maybe especially in the middle of nowhere Idaho.
Aristotle said that the value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than on mere survival. But perhaps our awareness is best contemplated when surviving. At any rate, for me this week, both were valuable.